


Hungover but Sober

by thesassykels66



Series: On the road again (tour fic) [7]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), dan and phil
Genre: Airports, Anxiety, Flights, Phan Fluff, breakdowns, grumpy phil, interactive introverts, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 12:38:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15886218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesassykels66/pseuds/thesassykels66
Summary: Phil feels a bit overwhelmed before their flight back to Sydney





	Hungover but Sober

Phil was woken up by the sound of a screaming alarm and a soft hand rubbing against his back. He groaned into his pillow as he dared to not look at the time. Dan hit the snooze and continued to rub Phil's back until he swept the covers away. Exposing Phil's bare legs underneath. 

"C'mon sleepy head up and at 'em" Dan spoke in a soft voice. Phil rolled over to his side and opened his eyes. His eyes squinting as Dan turned on the lamp, Dan's shadow creating blurry figures from the orange hues. 

The bed squeaked as Phil finally stood up, feeling the blood rush into his toes. He stretched his back and arms, feeling the pops of his joints as he let out a sleepy groan. Phil put on his glasses and started to dig through his suit case. Throwing on basic necessities like pants and a humper so he could be accepted in public. 

They grabbed their remaining chargers and cords before he had a chance to look at his phone. Dan occupied the bathroom gathering their toiletries and stuffing them into his backpack. There was a soft knock on the door and Phil knew exactly who it was. 

That knock was from Marianne, meaning 5 minutes before everyone has to be down to the lobby of the hotel. It was then he finally checked his phone.

3:15 am. 

Phil let his head fall back as he closed his eyes and breathed in a deep sigh. It was an ungodly hour. He suddenly felt like time didn't exist, or that the person staring back in the mirror suddenly didn't exist. What even was real when you're forced to wake up at 3 in the morning? 

"I had a dream that I was drunk," Phil muttered, watching Dan curl his laptop charger in his hands and stuff it into his backpack. He let out a slight chuckle. 

"That sounds intriguing" Dan laughed, "Were you a fun drunk or was it a fever-dream type drunk?"

"I was just, like, on the sofa. I'm not even sure," Phil combed through his messy quiff. Trying to relive through his hazy dream. He was even trying to keep his balance in his current fever dream. "Did you sleep at least?" Phil asked.

Dan just shrugged his shoulders, "Not really. I answered a few emails from the production team back home and verified things for our next tour sp--"

"So, you worked." Phil put bluntly. 

"Relax, I will sleep on the plane, and then again once we get to our hotel." His warm hand gently cupped Phil's cheek. He knew how unhealthy it could be for Dan staying up late even if his body is exhausted from the tour itself. "We have an entire day before the next show, I'll be plenty rested."

"That's not the point, you need your sleep too." His voice cracked and his entire face torqued into a frown. 

"Don't start something, my god Phil." Dan fully laughed as Phil puffed out a breath and slammed his suitcase shut. "I slept for  _two days_ when we got here, I'm fine."

But, maybe a bit of this morning grumpiness and irritability was from Phil's own jealousy. 

Phil silently monitored his body, cursing in his head how  _old_ he felt. His stomach ached, his back was starting to hurt and his vision was blurring, even with his glasses on. Every muscle in his legs and torso were weak and his neck was kinked. He could still taste the bitterness of morning breath even after brushing his teeth. Phil's eyes held heavy bags and he felt like he could fall over at any moment. He nearly tripped over his own bag and bumped against Dan's arm as they collected all of their things and left their hotel room. 

He hated how incredibly fatigue and exhausted he felt and looked. While Dan, who had not caught a wink of sleep, still could look so soft and so beautiful. He looked so alive still, so aware of his surroundings and in tune with the world at this hour. Phil hated how he was able to stay up late so effortlessly and even pull all-nighters sometimes.

It took everything in Phil's willpower to not curl into Dan in the lift. 

Waiting down in the lobby with their bags at their feet and heavy backpacks slung over their shoulders, Phil watched cleaners wrap up vacuum cords or dust the counters. It seemed unreal, like they were only figments of a moving photograph. 

Once their entire crew had gathered they were walking to their shuttle to the airport. Crickets were chirping and the moon was still high in the sky. It didn't feel like it was really three in the morning. Everything felt like the world had stopped rotating. A shiver ran through Phil's jacket, he forgot that it was still technically winter in New Zealand.

Marianne took the front seat while everyone else piled in. The merch team already leaning up against each other and yawning conversations, Martyn's arm slinging over Cornelia's shoulder, and their own body guard slipped in his ear buds as the doors were shut. Phil and Dan managed to sit in the far back of the shuttle and watched the dark world pass them by on their way to the airport. 

"I feel like I'm in a negative film," Dan started, watching the view of rolling hills and road signs appear out of the night. Phil just hummed back as a reply. 

He could hear the driver and Marianne make faint conversation, chatting away about the area and the history of the airport itself. To keep a look out for the giant murals and mosaics and subtle features through the tram to get to terminal gates. But Phil was hearing the words enter through one ear and out the other as he daydreamed. His and Dan's knees were kept in contact, keeping him tethered to his current reality, but his other half of his brain was back in London. Imagining watching the sunrise in nothing but his pants as Dan would bear wrap his arms around Phil's shoulders. Swaying as the beeping of their kettle was singing in the distance. The subtle peace of mornings where their toes were tangled in their sheets. 

Phil moaned at just the memory of their soft bed back home. He loved what they were doing, and genuinely loved every second of their hard work being paid off to entertain thousands. But he fucking missed his own bed, and a night of peaceful sleep in a familiar setting. 

"What?" Dan asked, his arm trailing behind Phil's shoulders and clutching around the seat. 

Phil shook his head, "Nothing," 

"What?" Dan smiled this time, and Phil had to bite his lip to restrain the urge of an outbreak of frustration. 

"I miss our bed," He finally said. His weak eyes lingering up to Dan's to watch him nod in agreement. 

"Me too," Dan's fingers danced on the outside of Phil's jaw, petting gently. Phil could feel the pull that Dan's eyes were creating, but they were also in a bus full of colleagues, he wasn't going to fill the need and kiss Dan's lips just for the sake of it. He forced his head to look out the window once more. 

They kept silent for the rest of the ride. Phil's eyes drooping even though the shuttle ride was being rather jostling. In a blink they were already at the counter to print out their flight tickets and to check their bags. 

Everyone around seemed to be in a familiar slump: tired eyes, whiny kids, even some whinier adults. Once their crew had all checked in they walked in a collective clump up the escalators and to the beginning of the security line. 

4:03 am

The queue for security was moving abnormally fast and Phil couldn't keep up, dragging his suitcase over his toes and he didn't keep his passport out in his hand. Martyn placed a quick hand on his shoulder and gave a weak smile to Phil's noticeable distress. He was already worried that the people behind him were getting irritated that he was slightly holding up the line. 

Phil had gone through countless airports and screenings but for some reason he still got pangs of anxiety when it was his turn. He forgot to take off his shoes and was already held back from the rest of his party. Dan caught his eye briefly through the security scanner before grabbing both of their bags off the belt. 

He beeped, because of course he'd beep. Phil sucked down a sigh as the nice woman pressed her gloved hand to Phil's sides and under his arms. "Remember to take off your jacket next time sweetheart," She sang, not pleasing Phil in any means. At least her day hadn't been ruined yet. 

"Look at you Philly, causing all sort of problems," Martyn joked, but Phil brushed it aside. All he wanted to do was sit in a cushioned chair, put his headphones on and pull his hood over his eyes. Maybe cuddle with Dan if they weren't in such a public setting. Phil was pouting and he could tell the worried look on Dan's face would not be evaporating anytime soon. 

Instead, he slung his jacket off and squished it into his backpack with an irritated expression. All Phil really wanted was to go back to bed. In no way shape or form was he a morning person. Even if he wanted to be, there was no way he'd willingly want to be up before the sun. Dan kept brushing against Phil's shoulder as they walked through the airport. Tugging their rolling bags and feeling the slow ache start in his lower back from his now heavy backpack. But a familiar smell drifted up his nose, the smell of rich coffee brewing hot in the distance. He groaned as he saw the winding of the queue, and forced himself to keep walking before running into Dan. 

"You want coffee?" 

Phil shrugged, "Did you see the line? I'm not waiting 30 minutes for an average cup of coffee that they'll probably get wrong." 

Dan rolled his eyes and fully scoffed, "Damn, what bit your ass this morning?"

"I'm not in the mood for jokes, Dan."

"Clearly." 

They followed their group to their gate in silence, Phil making large sighs through his nose as he couldn't find a seat near the corner for him to lounge in. To hide away from people as much as possible, even being in upper class. An announcement was played overhead and his ears began to burn. 

"Flight 287 to Sydney has been delayed, we apologize for the inconvenience" 

The numbers on a screen overhead suddenly changed, seeing that the delay was over three hours. People around started to groan, finally Phil wasn't feeling so alone. 

"Well shit, that sucks." Dan said, placing their baggage with the rest of their crews. 

"At this rate I wouldn't mind swimming to Sydney." Phil muttered, adjusting his glasses. "We'd probably get there faster."

Dan's jaw dropped and took hold of Phil's hand abruptly, "Alright, let's go." 

"What are you doing?!"

"I'm getting you coffee so you can get that fucking stick out of your ass." 

Phil gave in, because he knew Dan meant well. He wasn't going to deny that he was being a complete grump, he would blame it on the jetlag or the incoming headache that he could feel forming behind his eye. But Phil was actually okay with the time difference, they've been traveling so much time is almost a silly thing to think about. 

Their time spent in New Zealand was incredible. They saw so many sites and did so many touristy things, they'll never forget being absolute giants in a land made only for Hobbits and crying at the magical atmosphere of it all. He reminisced at how wonderful they have it, and how lucky they are to experience traveling around the world and meeting so many people. 

Oh, meeting people. Someone was in fact wanting to meet them upon the arrival of the coffee line. Star struck and in awe that when Phil plastered on his Meet and Greet face, it almost had him burst into tears. He couldn't, he had to swallow down any emotion he had and just go into auto pilot mode. It wasn't his fault that he was so incredibly tired. He gave his best offer-able smile and positioned themselves for a photo. They took the picture, gave subtle hugs and they were off on their merry way. Phil let out a sigh as they didn't follow them into the coffee line. 

He could feel Dan's eyes burn into his skin, it was almost annoying. He silently wished for Dan to pay attention to his phone or slip on his headphones and not study Phil with incredible detail. Phil wanted to block Dan out, but then remembered he put his phone in his bag, which was back with the rest of their stuff. 

"Ugh." Phil threw his head back and monitored the people in the queue. Feeling like he was living in a different plane of existence. He felt Dan's warm hand caress gently up his arm. 

"You okay?" He hated how soft Dan's voice was. 

"Fine. Just tired." 

"I don't think it's 'just tired'," They moved inches within the line, "What's on your mind, Lester?" 

Phil sighed once again, wanting to just disappear from it all, "I don't know. I feel... old." 

Dan nearly chuckled, "I mean, you are, but I also don't think that's it." 

Phil nudged Dan gently, forming a smile on his face. Dan always was able to make him crack in the slightest of ways. They moved a bit more within the queue, "I think I'm overworked." 

Dan nodded, "I'd agree with that." 

"We just had a few days off. Some  _awesome_ days off. But I still feel so burnt out." 

"I feel that way too,"

"No you don't. You were working this morning." 

"I was working because we have to push the Manila dates together. I was working on that so I don't have a panic attack about it later. Which, probably, will still happen."

Phil groaned into his hands, "Fuck, I forgot about that. That's going to screw everyone over." 

Their quiet minds were racing now, wishing that tour was over and they could be back in their lounge not worrying about anything except their next holiday. 

But Phil knew that the tour would be over in a blink anyway. They only had a few more weeks. 

"We only have a few more weeks, Phil." Dan spoke again, as if reading his mind, "You think we can hang in there?"

There was suddenly warmth in Phil's chest, realizing that they had come so far in a matter of months. They put mileage in their hearts and the memories along with it. He loved his job, and being able to do it with his best friend and partner in life. Even with the buckets amount of stress that came with it. Phil smiled and nodded, pressing his shoulder to Dan's. 

"Yeah, I think we got this." He said as the line picked up. 

Phil ordered a large caramel cappuccino with two extra shots of espresso. Dan got a fruit parfait and a latte that had foam dripping from the lid. They got a few bagels and cream cheese options for their crew as they started to walk back to their gate. Phil's taste buds absorbed by the sweetness of his coffee. 

A shiver ran through his body as he sat in the cushioned chair. He was already wearing a sweater but he was suddenly so cold. He set his cup down and dug into his bag to draw out one of their II hoodies and threw it over his current jumper. 

That's when the brick in his chest started to break. Because it was Dan's hoodie that he put on. It was warm and it smelled like him. It was the first piece of home he was able to feel in a while. There were sudden tears welling in his eyes as he threw the hood up and over his face. He took his coffee back and sipped it lightly as he couldn't hold on anymore. Begging internally that no one was paying attention to him as he started to cry. 

"Phil?" He heard Dan muffle softly beside him. 

 _Fuck_ Phil thought as he wiped his nose on his sleeve. His head acting like a magnet as it collided with Dan's shoulder. Dan's hand rubbing small circles on Phil's lower back. He didn't give a damn if people saw them. 

"I'm sorry you're so overwhelmed," Dan's voice was so sweet it physically hurt his chest. More tears escaped his eyes, and humiliation swarmed his cheeks as he realized he was breaking down in the corner of an airport. But then he chuckled, knowing that this wasn't his first time. 

"Why do we always have breakdowns at airports?" He asked through his choked up voice. It made Dan chuckle. 

"It's an appropriate setting for a breakdown I guess?" 

"At least I'm not going blind in one eye," Phil managed to laugh, feeling Dan pinch him slightly on his side. He laughed harder. 

"There's the Phil I know," Dan said as Phil could hear the smile on his face, "Just as long as you're there for me on my next breakdown." 

Phil took another sip of his warm coffee, raising his head to meet eyes with Dan, "So in like twenty minutes?" Phil stuck his tongue out through his teeth as he laughed. Dan smiling so wide it creating the dimples in his cheeks. Suddenly life wasn't so bad anymore. 

"Probably, you know that's how it goes." 

"Always." They shared smiles before slipping on headphones to block out the world. Waiting for their flight for their next adventure to arrive as the sun started to rise over the horizon.  

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it :)   
> I needed an output for all the emotions I've been feeling, so I wrote this.   
>  I could use somebody supportive and sweet like Dan.


End file.
